S2, Ep 4 Tips & Tricks on Establishing Healthy Boundaries

Welcome to part 2 of a 3 part series on time & boundaries. 
In episode 3 we explored why boundaries and time management were so important and why NOW is the right time.  In this episode we dig down on our boundaries and start to consider personality traits, and why its important to communicate your boundaries - as cultural, demographic, generational and lived experience backgrounds result in others never really knowing what you need... unless you tell them.

Its a great episode we look forward to you listening to this one & then in our next pod we deep dive on time management tips and tricks.

ACTION CHALLENGE
Our action challenge for this episode is two fold.  

#1 If you didn’t get a chance to track your time for a week to understand where it really goes then this in your time, along with  energy tracking feels important particularly if you are feeling quite burned out, or drained at the end of each day. 

#2 Then it's time to take action - one boundary tool each week for the next few weeks until you are finding more time to work on your vision! 

SHOW NOTES
The Burnout Fix, Jacinta Jimenez
Boundaries, by Henry Cloud and John Townsend

https://womensagenda.com.au/latest/four-in-five-australians-faced-burnout-in-2020/ 

https://www.fastcompany.com/90720956/who-is-responsible-for-protecting-work-life-balance-it-depends-who-you-ask 

Ryan Howes, blog In Therapy https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-figure-out-your-boundaries#6 

 Quoted from article: Remember that you’re not harming anyone by saying no, he said. “You haven’t become a boundary violator, just someone who is making a point of taking care of yourself. They’ll get used to it.”

Music created by Claire's daughter Hannah

Transcript

Claire: 0:15

Welcome to season two of the elevate with grace podcast. For women who are short on time and long to take steps to create success on their own terms. This podcast is here for women who feel overworked, underappreciated, and stuck in a constant world of spinning plates and want more from life. We take the plethora of Intel out there and curated into the highest value insights. We combine it with our lived experiences to offer bite sized, actionable tips. So you can look back at the end of the quarter and the end of the year, knowing you were working towards achieving success on your own terms.

Miranda: 0:49

Welcome to episode four of our second season. A huge hello to all the fabulous listeners. My name is Miranda and a huge welcome to my vivacious and dynamic co-host Claire. point we discussed why boundaries and solid time management were essential for achieving your goals and how following on from courageous conversations. It was such a good time to be talking about this. The last few weeks have not been a great reflection on me living out time management. However, I've given myself grace and accept. The very and accept that there is no guilt. There's no negative language coming from the shortcomings. There is moments in time during transition changing roles there is very little, you can do to just hold on and get through that sort of period. So I'm quite okay. With how it's all been rolling. It's been a real time flexible on both sides. I was feeling really appreciated. Quite humbled that the way that I want to show up in the world is being reflected back to me in these wonderful comments for people as I am finish up in my current job and current role. It's just been a wonderful experience. Claire, my friend, how are you doing? And how have you gone without action challenge?

Claire: 2:00

Hello yes. I've been good. It's interesting going through those transitions, I've been thinking about you a lot, doing all of that transition out of a current role and thinking about new horizons with the new role. I think after a couple of years we've been of. COVID itself has been a messy transition. So in transitions on top of that, it's an interesting experience, I think because yes, I've been thinking about you and doing all that stuff. My fortnite has been good. I've been making a conscious effort to really enjoy the warm, extended some, a Melbourne with them. I think that, you've got to appreciate those things. So we've had a good run here. In fact this weekend we went and saw the Melbourne boomers plays, so the female basketball team. So that was good, fun to be getting out and about and doing other bits and pieces. So just being really conscious of. Thinking about enjoying all that beautiful weather before we get into return, we're getting out and about and getting into practice of being out and about after two years of a lot of lockdowns. So yeah, it's been fabulous. In terms of the action challenge. The time diary has been an interesting experience, writing down some of the time, what I found earlier in the week when I first started doing it was that I was getting irritated. If. Others were impacting on how I plan the time. I found that was a really interesting journey, like as I was doing that, because I was getting frustrated that I had this plan and then. Others in your life, coworkers, family, friends, or whatever, and making changes to that. And finding that difficult to, accommodate because I was like, no, I'm trying to track my time. Making it inefficient for me. So then I had to go through which I talk about probably next podcast about the time management aspect. Is thinking about why that's happening. And already. Break the code the one day refund, which will come into. In a couple of weeks time, cause it's more about time management and energy management, but about. You've got to leave flexing your time. So you have to, it can't be about 100%. Logging everything in there and then you're beating yourself up. So the concept of having flex in your week and accepting that things are out of your control. I found that really good exercise. I think I probably need to continue to do what the other thing I realized was It's so easy. get out of the ability to do focused amount of time of blocks of time. So I was trying to get something done from a work perspective this week. And I was really quite conscious of an allocate an hour and a half. And then I was really quite conscious of. I'd pick up my phone every 15 minutes in that hour and half. I had to go and I put my phone in another Room? You become quite clunky, conscious of. How distracted you can be and how easy it can happen. And again, playing those games about focus time, like what can I get done? Any hour and a half and move the phone and all that sort of stuff. Yeah. I've had a good fun. Good playing around with that. I think he learned to walk. So I think it was a really good. Challenged to do. Keep doing it.

Miranda: 4:54

And I do believe that is so reflective of what a lot of people are going to be experiencing with that challenge. Because it is so easy to get interrupted. It's so easy to get distracted in this. Notifications and the phone's just an easy kind of. Brain pause. To say, and then back in the office for a lot of painful and the other cities, they haven't really had as much time at home as maybe Melbourne, but from Alvin. It's really getting back into the office and getting used to having those interruptions. And how much workflow you can get. Interesting statistic probably doesn't fit in here. Other than just to be part of the conversation about returning to work. Currently we do about 56 hours from home versus the 40 that we do in the office. Some benefits too, a little bit of working from home time.

Claire: 5:37

And then the other aspect, the book that I mentioned the one day. Refund. Talks about how you could better use that time. So one day refund is 50 15% and you should be operating at 85%. So I would argue that why I, and then the conversation we had in the last podcast around there's pretty significant. Evidence to say that there's diminishing returns after that 35, 40 hours a week. And so what should we have been using, or should we be using that time? Should we be working with that time or should we be doing other stuff with that time?

Miranda: 6:10

Studies would definitely agree with no issue, not. But let's dig into it. So quick reminder in our last pod that we explore the importance of healthy boundaries. And how these have been eroded potentially more so in the last few years Yeah. Maybe some people haven't had them, but even if they were, they did get a bit of road. And how it's essential to cultivate those new boundaries to really help you achieve your goals, which is what we're about. We want to ensure that we're setting you up for success on your own terms. And this is just such an essential part of that puzzle. The both boundaries and time management. So we really dove into taking back control of your time and how key that is. How we. Only to upskill ourselves in this area. And we shared some interesting studies from Europe. Countries like Germany, France, and Portugal. That are leading the way with varying legislation around this. Exploring that both companies and employees can play a role in supporting more positive work behaviors. For the longterm benefit of all. We spoke about why this was so important to us and some statistics to help. Four of five workers in 2020 based on an Asana survey and report in the women's agenda we're reporting high levels of burnout. 77% of Australians. 56 hours or up. From home, it's just, it's proven that it's way too much. The main three factors that caused the, this. And increased over time. Vagueness around workplace tasks. I think there was a lot of ambiguity. Around the winter week what are we catching? And there was also a lot of unnecessary workplace meetings, potentially as management we're getting used to having people working from home and not necessarily having that control. So some really big statistics there.

Claire: 7:49

Yeah. The whole conversation makes it happen around the effectiveness about any. And getting better at our effectiveness in meanings and whether they really go with it even pre virtual, but being on the virtual thing. I think it doesn't help. And I think there was another, I think it's the fatigue of being able to be. The communication channels and the collaboration channels. So it's not just, we spoke about last time. I think that I find can be declining from an energy perspective, because at any point in time, You have to be a cyborg. You're getting emails coming in and paper. If you're not responding to emails, people are getting you on teams. If you're not responding to teams and getting you on text messages. I can see how there's fatigue. And I think, even though that survey's 2020 a lot of people that I speak to even in 2022. Whether it's still burning out almost like a hangover from burnout. That's. I'd like to look into that. Yeah. I feel like maybe it's as bad as it's been. Because of this. That high statistic, the 77%. Four and five. Because in 2020, I feel that the still, yeah, a bit of a. Burnout hangover happening. And for some people, even if they're still in that space.

Miranda: 8:56

And I came across this terrific query, which really sums that up, which is working harder or smarter. Isn't enough to survive the pressures of the modern workplace. if the system's flawed, what do we do? Now that quote was from the burnout, fix a book by Jacinta Jimenez and interestingly, even before the last couple of years in 2019, the world health organization officially identified burnout as a major global health challenge. And identifying it as a syndrome. As syndrome that results from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. This is my way here. All. We definitely want to dig into what you can do. I think we've had those great conversations about courageous conversations, and this is the time. Because if you don't set up those boundaries, if you don't implement some of those times time limits no one else is doing it for you. And we really need to make sure, I think both from an employer and an employee point of view. We don't, you don't want people burning out. You don't want to create an unnecessary turnover in your workplace. So the conversation's about coming together for the greater good of everybody. So we delved into the why on my both boundaries and time in the last episode. There is just way too much to cover here. So we've split this part into a two part series. We're going to cover boundaries today. And then in our next part, we're going to dig deep on time management. Our boundaries really stop examining our mindset sharing key to. Tips and tricks to help you find your groove in this space. And an acknowledgement that things are going to take time to work through. And there is going to be pushback from people that have really enjoyed your lacks boundaries over the last few years, by instituting these boundaries, we are gifting ourselves one giant leap towards achieving our goals. We absolutely promise you that and we're walking the path to achieving success on our own terms.

Claire: 10:49

I think once we started looking at the boundaries and time management, we realized that actually quite a lot to talk about. And so it will be more digestible if we cover it off in, into episodes. So for this part it'd be good. I think if we just put our action challenge upfront, just to summarize. Action challenge. So that we've all got that in the back of our mind. There's where. Picking through some of the amazing content in this space. So like we mentioned at the beginning, if we didn't get a chance to, if you haven't made tracking your time yet, like I've mentioned, I've got a big benefit from that. We still encourage you to keep tracking your time for the week ahead, just to understand really where your time is going and whether there's some. Whether there's some ways. You put boundaries around that time? I think another part of that taking note of your emotive state whether you're feeling irritated or angry the time that you're allocating to stuff over the week can, if you're identifying emotions around that I can help you. Again, think about ways that you would like to make some changes. With the emotion, really thinking about your energy as well. So when you're feeling burnt out, if you're feeling inspired where that is, and what's helping you do that by thinking about how you plan your boundaries and combat over the week. Then take one of the boundary tools that we're going to talk about over the next sort of 20 minutes or so, and look at how you can use that too really focus your time and get back to your goals and think about what your vision is for the next 12 months. And how you can wrap some boundaries around that with the people that you love and care about in your lives. I do want to take a little bit of a step back and talk about what boundaries are. Exactly. From my perspective. I've just mentioned a way for you to understand and uncover what your boundaries are, is to pay attention to what's making you feel uncomfortable, irritable, frustrated with a particular aspect or so circumstances within your personal or professional relationships. So often for me, That's where I think you shouldn't be trying to suppress those feelings. One of the things that you should be looking at is. particular situation in my way, really gets my goat off. I don't want this and then starts to explore why that is. And I think probably a lot of the time it's about, that's not how you feel comfortable working or living or running your life and then you need to have a think how do you get a situation where you're having the right conversations about that? When I think to look good boundaries, look like for me. I imagine a solid. With some beautiful, straight out, all in a sturdy door. With an inviting welcoming style. So it's very clear that there's a wall there, but it's embodying you can come in. And it's all very out there and pretty and amazing. When I think about times when my relationships. Not in a good place in terms of a good foundation of boundaries. I feel like it's a bit more like an electric fence scenario when nobody knows whether it's switched on or off. So when people approach me. And I haven't really been doing the hard work to set up the boundaries and then they come to ask me something and I'd been suppressing it and they get a zap. And the other person is wondering why they're getting his zap, because I didn't know it was a problem. I like to think about moving myself from, if I feel like I'm zapping people and people is that thing made and let, maybe my boundaries not caught right and got a bit of electric and imaginary electric fans happening there, as opposed to saying, to be really clear about What it is that I need in particular situations and relationships and working through that.

Miranda: 14:12

Yeah. I don't know what you think about that grander. Absolutely love it. I've never thought of boundaries in that way. But it's sorry to Hampshire. We definitely, I think we let people push our boundaries again and again. Until it's one time too many. And then somehow they should have always known that boundary was there and that they were pushing it. On reflection we have a communicator that we haven't put that beautiful street art out on our brick wall. And door that says welcome maybe between the hours of eight and five. I do think that boundaries of kind, but they've just got such a bad reputation.

Claire: 14:44

Yeah, we've spoken about it we're all coming through a place where boundaries are an interesting concept right now, they were pre COVID because we already had introduced these digital tools into the workplace. I think. Last time I mentioned the fast company article, where there was a survey conducted by trees. whether it's employees or employers responsibility to set boundaries. And remember we made that distinction between workers over 45. A significant number of them believed that it was their personal responsibility. Whereas that was only shared by 42% of those under the age of 45. And. The theory in that instance, which we agree makes a fair bit of sense, is that. Those who started working in an era where they could be reached 24 7 by email, slack, zoom, or any number of other workplace tools. Expect the employer to support boundaries around that, aspect of the new workplace rather than. in a physically different location at work, and then you move home for one of us, it's all blended. And so then it's become quite a complex topic. And. With the amount of burnout can we do here? I It's the thing, like how can we really explore and getting placed some of these brick walls with lovely street art as opposed to the. And telecom without the proper signup.

Miranda: 16:04

Such a good run. When you actually spell out the study of the 45 and under versus 45 and over. Most likely the 45 and over are the ones setting the rules. And I don't know they're crossing boundaries. Because they have never being a part of that, they've been able to craft boundaries throughout their career. They maybe haven't let that software take over their world. And the millennial generation. Hang on. I've got all these tools I'm being contacted constantly and it's not right. And communication is just so important here, because we don't allow for different lived experiences, past work experiences, different generations and different cultural backgrounds as well. So I think my organizations do need to be aware of. I have lots of recliner of their workforce and they should be constantly educating and re-educating themselves and a really strong growth mindset of what their team need. it's also very important that we share those values and we communicate really clearly. I think this is a much more healthy way of going And then everybody benefits from that. So that it's a shared conversation. Part of that conversation. We spoke in our last poet. About to boundaries. was some five from studies and our lived experiences that boundaries were somehow selfish. We look through this data. We know it's not true. In theory. However, let me start to implement these into our lives. There's this subconscious or underlying mindset hangout that can absolutely get in the way. Let's go back to your beautiful fence analogy. I think that's a much better way of perceiving boundaries. But when you start to Institute these boundaries, I think what happens is that we start to bring them in. People get quite defensive. They get angry at us because we're trying to apply a boundary. And get. Don't worry about it, that's okay. I'm fine. And I think we'll get into this towards the end of our podcast, but I think that thoughtful delivery. And communication of why you need this, how this is going to help you and them potentially to move forward. Is really something that we should take responsibility for and we should watch out for.

Claire: 18:00

I think you make an interesting point. There's a book called boundaries. That's very original term henry cloud and John Townsend I wanted to bring up and maybe this is a good time to do it. Is that in terms of. Tips and tricks for how to set healthy boundaries. The first part of bag or what is actually a boundary and how could we identify it? You. There's emotional triggers when things are bothering us as a good way to identify them. the first action is to know your boundary personality type. The concept that our mind ordinarily jobs to you. Is that. People who have boundary Two years of being the ones that are going to campus compliant. Flex for the compliance. That's the person that's getting pushed back and then they're like, whatever this is all too hard, or just not bother about that. It's important to understand if there's another couple of boundaries, personalities that they talk about. That is equally important because if you're one of these other boundary times or their bedroom personality types or your on the other side, you're compliant and you're dealing with another person on these boundary types, it can really impact the type of conversations that you should be having. One is they talk about avoidance. So avoidance. So focused on building a wall to protect themselves from the bad that they don't actually let any good. Good through the gate. So back to my metaphor of the. Thanks types. That's like basically saying that on my beautiful brick wall with the street art, there's a massive plaque off on there that nothing comes in and nothing goes out. And so there's. Basically avoidance have trouble letting others in and sharing their And they say no to help all the time. That's a distinctive from being in avoidance where you just know I don't need any help. No, I'm fine. And you're behind the boundary fence and you never come out. And then the other one, which I'm sure we've all had many experiences with and have different reactions to our controllers. Thinking that they're in a good spot. The controller is in a good spot because people never overstepped their boundaries. You're always getting what you want. And the reality is that the control is if they're not aware, so they're like, whoa, I always get what I want. I send information out all the time. People come back to me. Is that basically, they're not appreciating that there overstepping everybody else's boundaries. And so they think I'm fine. I don't have any boundary issues. Wearing it affected you because the relationships that you're having over others in this sort of controlling manner. You relationships are built on fear and guilt rather than inspiring other leaders. And it's not a mutual respect. The loss of the situations. I found that really interesting to think about that it's I think we're always thinking about those of us that so I'd say no very well and are very good at articulating boundaries. But there's a whole bunch of other personalities in that boundary ecosystem that we need to work through.

Miranda: 20:39

Absolutely. Quite a lot in that. Your point in a, there is definitely a reason why we don't have boundaries as well. And you've got your personality types and then there's also reasons why people don't Tend to have these strong boundaries. It's always driven this way. So with. I've never learned how to have boundaries and instead we've tolerated those that are setting up for us. I've never stood up for our boundaries. So that one definitely fills into the personality type. There. And maybe we're not sure what boundaries we need. Some people intuitively know what boundaries might be missing from their lives. Others perhaps feel uncomfortable, but they don't really know why. And I think that one is probably where. It's really important that we get clarity around what you want to achieve. So that's where we've been setting our goals, our visions, understanding what we want. As those boundaries are going to help you get there. The boundaries are going to allow you to actually achieve those goals because they're going to help set up systems and structures for you. To be able to move forward. Running house and his blog in therapy. Recommended that you change your emotions. So when your emotions are going a bit haywire, when you're feeling a bit uncomfortable, to your point, Claire, where you feeling, you. Aggravated or irritated by things. Some things. Most likely pushing a boundary. Tuning into your thoughts. We all have those great conversations with ourselves when we're driving home and potentially some negative chats about what we didn't do, maybe tuning to those thoughts in a different way and go, where did I feel uncomfortable today? What didn't work for me today? Because again, it's you were a boundary's happening. And then ask others close, calm, close confidence, and loved ones. Have probably seen these. How you're showing up in your life and wishing that you brought more boundaries into your world. So sometimes a really close, confident is going to be able to go. Yes. You just tell them to leave you alone after 5:00 PM. Then we'd both be happy. So you're going to, maybe that's going to help you. To start to identify some of those. I think that's I think that's a really good. Point. And I think in terms of bringing that into a leadership concept as well, and we're all leaders, right? Whether we are. It's not breakfast. Management toddle, but in terms of leading by example, and you were mentioning. It is often, always easier. When you're starting a new relationship, a new Joel, a new project. Setting, you should always be fighting. We end up finishing in terms of your boundaries. Then I think as we move into this, because once the already established relationships. Try to do then. Create any boundaries can be attempts IX. Experience and not to say we don't want me to do it. Given the very now stats and a whole bunch of other things. We absolutely need to be basing into our existing relationships. To understand. And re-establish what our managers are, but when you're starting a new situation. So give it an example. As we head back to. Into the office workplace.

Claire: 23:29

One of my non-negotiables is I will, I'm happy for my kids to go into after school care and do a couple of other things. One of my non-negotiables is own never go back to the days where. We're all trying to get out of the house at 7:00 AM. Let's go dropping them off to before school care, just so I could be in an office by 8, 8 30. As we've transitioned back to the office, I'm being very clear that I've all come into the office. The number of days of. We need to be in the office, but I'll be coming here after school drop. So there'll be somewhere between nine and nine 30. That's when I'll start my day, do my regular hours or however that works. But being very clear about that with my peers. And so that, and others we're all starting to feel comfortable about doing that and having those conversations about. What I'm thinking that I'm going to bring in as boundary. So I think. As you're transitioning into a new workplace is doing the work to really understand. What is it? That's really important. What. What do I need to do? And being conscious of introducing them as you're coming into transitional situations is a good way to bring some of that stuff in. Another was just around Taking a bit of a pause.

Miranda: 24:33

So I think sometimes we really do believe that we have to achieve everything today. This week, this year. The aforementioned book been out fix. It really talks about dramatic success as being created through gradual sustainable growth. If you think about the time that we've just had in the last few years, There's been, huge amount of overwhelm. As in 70%, percent of fair now, and instead of taking a pause, because we're working from hiring, we're doing homeschooling. I just 50% of women also chose to up-skill in that period. Wow. And both you and I are in that group. It's just one of those things where you look at this on the paper and you go, oh yeah, I see that. So your. One of our boundaries has to be with ourselves to going, this is how much we can actually achieve this week. This year. And it's okay. Those achievements will come. We will achieve that gradual sustainable success. it's super important that it doesn't only to be the skier. It doesn't need to be done by a certain age. I think we've really gotta be mindful of those expectations that we're sending on ourself. Be really careful that we don't then bring those into effecting our physical and mental health. As part of that. The BeneFIX could provide some great examples and it's a nice reminder that JK Rowling took seven years to write the first Harry Potter. Beyonce is first girl band failed. And what Disney had to take time. He was well into his midlife and beyond before Walt Disney really became an iconic Disney that he is today. It takes a while to bring those great success stories out and they're a hundred percent worth it when they get there.

Claire: 26:04

is a really good point because I think in this media cycle. We brought it up a couple of times before as well. But in this media cycle, it's all about you get all of the news about instant successes. He needs to attain and success and how you have to, what a car to be the next Steve jobs. You need to be. Burning the midnight oil and I'll just sort of stuff and it's simply just not true, but it's just the media that we get served. So I loved all those examples because they're just, I love the example. I'm going to have that in the back of my head because sometimes. It's the tiny steps that we talk about in this podcast, the actionable steps. But it's consistent work over the longterm that gets the results, but, Sometimes we can get a bit, feel like taking a nap when it feels like. A lot of work to do, but that's the thing here does take a lot of work to have these like amazing situations. So they're not going to happen overnight.

Miranda: 27:01

And spending time in Dubai, I feel like I'm. Operating on 50% speed. They've all got jobs. They've all got, Side hustles. They're all creating products and stuff. Living in that world for such a long time. Made me feel like I've got to go a bit harder. I've got to push a bit further. The reality is. Probably don't. And they've got a lot of support to make sure that they can do that. So it's just a different lived experience. So some good mindset shifts here that we we can summarize as we go into, trying to solve, what do we do when people push back on our boundaries? First let's make sure that we. Being our own worst enemy in terms of boundaries. It does not all need to be done today this week, this month, this year. Make a start. Is what matters. So taking those incremental steps towards your greater goal. Which is going to lead us perfectly into time management next week. Just making sure there's time each week to achieve these things. Another mindset shift is that people are not going to know or understand your boundaries. Unless you communicate them. Calmly and clearly, and ideally non-judgmentally because I think sometimes when you set your boundary up. It's like you should have no. And that can cause obviously up there conflict.

Claire: 28:04

And I think there's ways to in that boundaries. Book that I mentioned about Townsend. And Carl. They give some really good examples, some practical examples of how to communicate effectively so that you are coming from a place of non-judgment. And also it's about. It's about putting it in the sense of how it makes you feel. It's never about the accusation on the other person. And what they're doing is wrong because in their mind, they've got their boundaries. So you've got to find a way if you've got the controller. And avoid an example or the controller. When you're setting up boundaries in relationships. And so it's trying to understand and be curious about their perspective as well. So you can have great conversations. And I think the point that you just mentioned. Starting is important. Looking at my boundaries and reconsidering them. You might have to try a few things because it's working with another person that. It's a completely different person to you. And so you've got to start with something and then seeing if that works, and if it's a little bit getting you there or it's not working, then you might have to try something else. So it's not this sort of, this is what, I don't know how. And this is what I mean. It's about what, how do we get something? That's a foundation that both of us can work with. And then that requires trial and error. that flexibility is so important. I give a very simple example of, you'd want to do your focused work between eight 30 and 10. But you've got something that always comes by your desk at eight 30. They're a valued colleague. I help you on glow color, roadblocks. And that's the only time in their calendar that they can do. So it's, while it's friendly, it's also helping to make sure that they're setting up the day for success as much as you are. It's going to be the right move to move that focused work's to 8 45 and have that 15 minutes. The reality behind that is going to be more valuable to you. Birth. Flexibility is so important. I think also having that clarity on your mission and your goals. If you understand why things work, boundaries are going to help you to achieve what you need. That you understand what the mission is? It's far easier. And going you. I'm going to set this up. Swaying. I'm always out of the door by five o'clock, but there's no kind of wine to why you need to be out the door at five o'clock. Is it to get to the gym? Is it to be with family? Is it to, whatever, what is your, why? What is the purpose behind it? It's going to help you to implement that and to share that with people to say, look, I'm happy to do exactly what you said in reverse. I'm happy to do the extra on this side. Because I need this five o'clock. This has to be my hard cutoff. Obviously there is so many examples of what boundaries are going to work for. You. These are the simple ones, just because we know that. There is just so many different workplaces, different time zones, different whatevers that you play in. So please do try and, relate those to what your vision and what your purpose is and how you would show up in the world and what that looks like for you. I definitely think the why is understanding your, why? I think that reminder to that. Like the knowing that no is a complete sentence. So I think back to some of when. I'm like assessing the boundaries for the waken. And the week ahead where I've got a bit derailed or whatever, it's. Not stick being clear on. I could just say no to a few things. And then regretting that I didn't say no. So it's a big, I hate to say no. But that's different. What we talked about being in avoidance and always avoiding health. We all still need help where human beings, where, you know, the collaborative kind of tribe based brunch. That still doesn't mean that you shouldn't be able to be clear on what your nos are and helping know your wide, I think is really good. Another quote, actually this week, Alfa miss in therapy. How's that I quoted earlier. Remember that you're not harming anyone by saying no. You haven't become a boundary violator, just someone who is making a point of taking care of themselves. They'll get used to it. Yes. Good reminder. You've got to go a couple of quotes today. I don't want him to. Put them up on that. Speaking of which we should wrap up this episode. Action challenge was twofold if you remember from the beginning. So if you haven't been tracking your time, For a week to the tracking time experiment for a week. As I mentioned, I think doing it for more than a week or picking it up and putting it down and doing it regularly could help. So definitely. Recommend us all doing that action in terms of getting clear on where we're spending at a time. Along with tracking our energy as well. So when are we feeling burnt out or when are. And noticing that as we're noticing what we're doing with that time. And then looking for one of those boundary tools that we've spoken about over the course of the episode. In terms of getting comfortable with your, why, how are you going to set boundaries, courageous conversations. Thinking about the boundary. Personality types that you are in your life, any of the things that we've talked about and think about how you can apply them in your coming wings and it's all about trial and error. It gets started. Practice. You don't stop, then we've got no basis to tweak and be agile about making it better.

Miranda: 32:53

Done is better than perfect. As always we've put all of the curated content and quotes we've mentioned today in the pod episode notes. So you can check them out over the next week or so and dip into some of the stuff that resonates with you and will inspire you to take small, actionable steps for your own success journey. Also check out our website, elevate with grace.com. You on would love you to hop onto our Instagram and give some notes about how things are and we'd love, love, love to hear from you. If you want something more personal, please send us an email to elevate with grace@gmail.com. And our next episode. be getting into these tips tools and checks for time management and working on our time management muscles. So look forward to sharing that with you. Can't wait to try it again. In a fortnight's time. And thank you so much for listening. Thanks